Of Feasts and Famine


Gratitude Day 10- Being currently employed

Sometimes, I just dismiss my job. I've been at my job many years, and it pays me very little. A very real fear of failure held me back for a long time, keeping me in the same place. Now, a very real slowdown in the job market does the same thing.

I still have the fear. Of failing. Trying and not making. Of being incompetent. The cycle of applying and being ignored for jobs just feeds my insecurities.

However, I do have a job right now. It doesn't pay anywhere near a plush wage. Intellectually, it isn't the most simulating thing I could be doing... but my bills are taken care of. Debt is being paid down. Fun is being had. Life is still good. Just need to push through the fear and keep trying for that distant goal. In the meantime, I'll pay my bills.

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